You have constructed a very detailed and elaborate world/separate self-image. As part of the undoing process you will need to see that, even though you really do love and cherish some parts, you are going to have say good-bye to ALL of it, if you are to come to know yourself as created by God.
” The learning of the world is built upon a concept of the self adjusted to the world’s reality. It fits it well. For this an image is that suits a world of shadows and illusions. Here it walks at home, where what it sees is one with it. The building of a concept of the self is what the learning of the world is FOR. This is its purpose; that you come without a self, and make one as you go along. And by the time you reach “maturity,” you have perfected it to meet the world on equal terms, at one with its demands. A concept of the self is made by YOU. It bears no likeness to yourself at all. It is an idol, made to take the place of your reality as Son of God.”
Jesus talks about the idea that even though you are sad to let it go and may still struggle at times with temptations to revert back to old habits, it matters not. For in Him we have already over come the world.
“Whenever you are tempted to undertake a foolish journey that would lead AWAY from light, remember what you really want, and say, “The Holy Spirit leads me unto Christ, and where else would I go? What need have I but to awake in Him?” Then follow Him in joy, with faith that He will lead you safely through all the dangers to your peace of mind that this world sets before you. Kneel not before the altars to sacrifice, and seek not what you will surely lose. Content yourselves with what you will as surely KEEP, and be not restless, for you undertake a quiet journey to the peace of God, where He would have you be in quietness.”
A Course In Miracles Online 