A Course In Miracles mentions “fantasy” over 61 times. Jesus is very deliberate in His choice of words and I often make a habit of checking out the dictionary when I come across words that I think I know the meaning of but enjoy seeing how often I am wrong.
fan⋅ta⋅sy Pronunciation [fan-tuh-see, -zee]
imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained.
- the forming of mental images, esp. wondrous or strange fancies; imaginative conceptualizing.
- Psychology. an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.
- a hallucination.
- a supposition based on no solid foundation; visionary idea; illusion: dreams of Utopias and similar fantasies.
- caprice; whim.
In the early part of chapter one of the urtext, Jesus spends quite some time in clarifying how fantasies, sexual or otherwise can be strong, yet held within the Mind of the believer/you, they are NEVER going to be real.
“Fantasies are distorted forms of thinking, because they always involve twisting perception into unreality. Fantasy is a debased form of vision. Visions and Revelations are closely related. Fantasies and projection are more closely associated, because both attempt to control external reality according to false internal needs.”
This can translate into “mind wondering”, of which, Jesus expresses you are far too tolerant of. There is a tendency to “beat yourself up” over this especially if you think you are advanced in the Course. This is all part of your training and the more disciplined you are within your own need to have the Peace of God, the easier it will be for you.
“Every illusion which you accept into your mind, BY JUDGING IT TO BE ATTAINABLE, removes your own sense of completion, and thus denies the Wholeness of your Father. Every fantasy, be it of love OR hate, DEPRIVES you of knowledge, for fantasies ARE the veil behind which truth is hidden. To lift the veil, which seems so dark and heavy, it is only needful to VALUE truth beyond ALL fantasy, and to be entirely UN-willing to settle for illusion IN PLACE of truth. Would you not go THROUGH fear to Love? For such the journey SEEMS to be. Love calls, though hate would bid you stay.”
Remember! No one is judging you. You are simply being asked to look at what it is you are valuing, so you can see if it brings you closer to God or not. This IS a fantasy. If there is nothing here to value you will be shown a bright new world from which you will leave this dream of death forever.